Punology

I changed my iPod name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time .

How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore .

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energiser bunny arrested.  Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water?  Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner?  Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously the government's fault.